The Price of Perfection....

Shocking, it never crossed my thought that ballerina as a profession could be these dark and creepy. That such professional artistry, the graceful art form like ballet can be this draining and hellish as depicted in "Black Swan".

This film showcases the highlights of backstage drama, the internal angst ballerinas can endure - all the intense, the bitter competition, the stretches and lengths to which some of them might go to get the part, to impress and be praise by critics, or to leave a legacy.

We can see how physically exhausting and damaging this form of art can become - feet, legs, back, they all take a hit. Some sacrifices even go beyond the physical: Like in Nina's case, she loses her grip on sanity and reality. She witnessed the self-mutilation(stabbing her face) of the woman she succeeded as Swan Queen at the hands of a nail file, but we later notice it was in Nina's own hand. Was it Nina who stab Beth or was it all a figment of her psychosis? These are but a few of the several moments where Nina's perception of events are shaky and questionable.

In the film, to present a new concept and edgy interpretation of "Swan Lake" they are casting a Swan Queen who can embody both the light and dark aspects of the soul. Nina passed, as she has what it takes to embody the light side(White Swan), but the quiet, timid, girl lacks that dark edge to become a true Black Swan.

Nina true character reflects innocence and sexual naivety, like prepubescent child as represented in her room, pink inspired interior color, with stuffed animals and etc., her virginal innocence trait perfectly fits to the role of the White Swan, yet Nina is not an automatic fitting choice for the passionate Black Swan role. Encouraged by her seem to be lecherous producer/director, to 'let go', find herself, one of which is to give over to her sexual urges. There was a scene that he even insists Nina to masturbate to overcome her inhibitions. That in order to play the Queen's duality, she must let loose and allow her darker side to emerge.

Nina wants to be absolutely perfect. From her childhood days, she has dreamed of being the perfect ballerina. In her early age she was trained and pressured by a demanding mother, then grown to believe that true success comes from perfecting every move, every turn, and every aspect of her on-stage performance. But such dream is slowly turning into obsession, a quest to perfection, perhaps since childhood she have seen the the tragedy (who dropped out of ballet) of imperfection in the persona's of her mother, and the outgoing play lead "Beth" who attempts suicide in a frustrated sense of humiliation. Her drive was also intensified when she was threatened by another dancer "Lily" that seems to perfectly embody the role of the Black Swan.

In this film, a patriarchal culture fosters an imagined perfect feminity presented in an art that Nina obsessively strives for, but life in reality, perfection is unachievable and unobtainable for the fact it is only artificial. Perfection by the world's standards can never actually be achieved. And such quest is not only limited to ballet, admit it or not that most people(including me at times) are driven or might say haunted by a desire a need of getting everthing just right if not perfect - work, family, home, relationships, life in general. That we are all a subject of insatiability, a human nature that one can never be satisfied with mediocrity and we constantly strive towards something better, greater, and something truly incredible.


Nina thought she was achieving perfection in her life, but in reality, she struggled battling her own personal demons, she physically and phychologically abused herself. When she was asked to portray - she was asked for balance - not to immerse 100% in both sides. Unfortunately she took it to extreme and fell quickly into the depth of darkness and immorality and perhaps her only way out is death.

And the moral "Perfect" is an artificial idealism, that even for a fact that we acknowledge that nobody is in this imperfect world yet we are still fascinated by it. Some dedicate their lives to the pursuit of perfection but some consumed by it in an unhealthy way. Imperfection is part of the human condition that life includes disappointment and disillusionment that good things come to an end; ultimately we lose something, something we love, someone we love; things don’t turn out the way we hoped.

For me, life is too short to waste it just by striving to be perfect in just one small facet of our existence. I rather choose to live a rich and full life. Choose excellence instead of perfection.